


Dysphoric

by AntagonistChan



Series: Transtation [1]
Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Neptune came over for pudding and got a girlfriend instead, Once the idea of Trans!Noire got in my head I couldn't get it out, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Canon, Re;Birth1 Universe, Trans Female Character, Trans Noire | Black Heart, Trans femslash written by a transwoman, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 03:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16653514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntagonistChan/pseuds/AntagonistChan
Summary: Noire has a bad day, and Neptune helps her feel better.





	Dysphoric

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, a new Neptune/Noire story! If you're wondering where the next chapter of Byzantium Love and War is, don't worry, that's still coming. I haven't forgotten about it. It's actually been on my mind pretty consistently for the whole year. I just haven't really had a good opportunity to work on it- this year's been really crazy. In fact, part of why I wrote this story was... well, just because I wanted to, but part of it was because I knew this'd help me get into the right headspace.  
> Like BLaW, this takes place in the Re;Birth1 universe, though unlike BLaW- which is an AU- this story is a sequel to the events of Re;Birth1.  
> Also unlike BLaW, which is cross-posted to FFN, this story is AO3 exclusive. I'm just not comfortable posting it there.

Noire couldn't believe it.

Well, no, she _could_ believe it. She could believe it _very_ well. That was sort of the problem- that there was still so much ignorance in the world surrounding people like her... and how that ignorance made her doubt herself. Was she really who she thought she was? Or _was_ she just some spoiled, delusional brat unwilling to face reality like so many people said she was? If she were feeling more rational, she'd know she was who she thought she was. All the evidence was on her side, and it wasn't like she was doing this to hurt people. The only people who got hurt were people who weren't prepared for her and made assumptions. But that sort of thing didn't help when she was feeling hysterical.

She lied face down on her couch, burying her face in the pillow and screaming into it a little. She thought it helped, but she wasn't sure. Everything was a little bit too overwhelming right now for her to make that kind of judgement.

That's when her office doors slammed open.

"Heya, Noire! How's Lastation's store of pudding? 'Cuz we're out at my Basilicom and I figured coming here was just as good as going to the store."

Oh no.

Not now.

Noire could NOT handle this right now.

Why did Neptune have to come **now** of all times!?

Noire didn't mind Neptune as much as she made it seem. Neptune was fun. Even the teasing- on some level, Neptune's teasing could be funny, and she could tell that that was just how Neptune made friends with people. Neptune's company was usually pretty pleasant, despite her usual attitude towards her. She _liked_ Neptune.

Hell, she l-lo... oh, she wasn't afraid to admit it (to herself, anyways), she **loved** Neptune. Her fellow goddess had wormed her way into Noire's heart and might never leave.

But she was not willing to deal with Neptune at the moment. Neptune's rambunctious attitude and friendly teasing was very much not what she needed. Not now. Not when she was feeling this insecure about herself and her identity.

"Noire? Uh, you there? HellooOOOOooOOO? What's with the silence? You finally go all weird on me? We're not gonna have to cut away to live-action footage of a boat like in School Days, are we?"

"Go away," Noire managed to get out weakly. "I don't feel like dealing with your accusations of 'loneliness' right now."

There was a moment of silence.

"Noire," Neptune said again, a bit more worry in her tone and her voice a little closer. "Is everything alright?... You're... kinda freakin' me out. And not in a 'going all weird on me' sense like I was joking about a second ago, like in a 'something really wrong's going on and you're hurting' kinda way. Are you sick? Or... are you upset?... Both?..."

Oh god. Noire had completely forgotten about THAT side of Neptune. As much as Noire liked Neptune's usual attitude, you can't really fall in love with someone because of one trait. People are more than one trait. And while Noire couldn't handle Neptune's "Neptune-ness" right now... Neptune's genuinely kind and caring side might have been _exactly_ what she needed. Noire turned her head to the side, and there she was- just inches away, concern and worry written on her face. The moment Neptune got a good look at _her_ face, though, she rapidly shifted her expression to a more positive, comforting one. That opened the floodgates.

Noire reached out and pulled Neptune closer, burying her face in the smaller girl's neck.

"Whoa, girl," Neptune chuckled. "Take all the time you need, I'm right here! After all, what kind of protagonist would I be if I wasn't here for my friends when they're down? Besides, we all know that when you get back up, you'll be stronger than you were before. That's just how you are. I mean, it's certainly why I've never been able to _really_ beat you."

Despite herself, Noire giggled a bit, but didn't let go. They stayed there like that for a while in silence, until eventually Neptune spoke up again.

"So, what's the matter? Did Chian or Singe get hurt? Or, uh, did one of your new policies not go over well? I haven't seen a noticeable change in Shares, but..."

"I... met with an investor from Lowee," Noire admitted hesitantly. "He... said something. He wasn't personally trying to attack me, but it hurt me anyways. He was... he was talking about their new game, trying to make me consider loaning some of my characters to it, and he made a joke about one of their female characters being a... a 'guy in a dress who thought he was a girl'. It..."

To Noire's surprise, Neptune squeezed tighter.

"I think I get it," Neptune whispered. "I'm... sorry. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that. You're beautiful, by the way. Have I ever told you that? Because I've always thought it. You're a real bombshell. You walk into a room, and everyone stops to notice how drop-dead gorgeous you are."

Noire cried a little. Partially tears of joy- but partially tears of regret. She was overjoyed that Neptune was accepting her, but she didn't want to come out like this. She wanted to do it on her own terms, and she wanted to say it _directly_ , not say it in a roundabout way and have Neptune pick up on the clues. She'd had so many ideas for how to come out properly, and now, it had just come out for her without her permission. Hell, some of her ideas involved coming out and confessing to Neptune in the same move.

"I'm..." Noire paused. "You probably already knew this part- in fact, I'm... pretty much _certain_ you already knew this part- but I'm gay, too. A trans lesbian."

"Yeah, I already had a pretty good idea there," Neptune agreed. "You've been pretty open about that. As much as I tease you about liking me, you've always made it pretty clear how you feel about girls in general. I mean, you're no Red, but..."

"It's not even like I've got any reason to 'trick' anyone," Noire laughed bitterly. "Because I only like girls. I've got no reason to 'trick' guys into dating me. And there are more straight women out there than lesbians, let alone lesbians who are into trans girls, so if I lied to myself and lived as a guy, it'd actually be EASIER to find a date. It makes no sense, but it's still such a persistent..."

Neptune started petting her hair.

"It's okay, shhh, it's okay," Neptune reassured her. "You're rambling a bit. Calm down, it'll be okay."

"Neptune, I..." Noire hesitated. She _really_ needed Neptune. If Neptune accepted her confession after already accepting her as a woman, then it'd make her feel infinitely better. But if she got rejected right now... she wasn't sure if she could handle that. Neptune wouldn't push her away or anything, Noire trusted that she wasn't that cruel, but the emotions might not be enough to handle. Should she...?

"I love you."

Noire's eyes shot open. She hadn't said that. She pulled away to get a good look at Neptune.

Neptune was beet red, and wearing a sheepish smile on her face. Noire realized, belatedly, that her mouth was hanging open, so she shut it.

"Th-that's okay, right?" Neptune stuttered. Again, _Neptune_ **stuttered**. "It doesn't make this weird or, or anything, right? I swear, letting you cry on my shoulder was actual concern, not just... an excuse to cuddle you a bit. And, um, that's kinda part of why I always teased you about liking me, you know? I was... I guess you could say it was kinda wishful thinking. Ah, geez, now _I'm_ rambling, how lame am I? I'm supposed to be all cool and concise and stuff!"

Noire couldn't hold back a giddy little smile. She was still a little in pain from what had happened earlier, but she really couldn't. Before she even realized what was happening, she'd leaned back into the couch, pulling Neptune back with her and pressing their lips together. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell that Neptune hadn't fully processed things yet. Which was something they had in common. It took Neptune a moment to return the kiss properly, wrapping her arms around Noire's back and adjusting herself to ease the strain on her own back from the slightly awkward position.

While the kiss was fairly chaste, it lasted for a while, and by the time the two separated, they were slightly out of breath. After a moment of silence, Neptune started giggling. Noire followed soon after.

"Well, um, you feeling better?" Neptune asked.

"A lot," Noire sighed happily. "I'm not completely over the dysphoria, but... but you... I'll be honest, Neptune, you just made my dreams come true."

Neptune grinned, this time burying _her_ face in _Noire's_ neck.

"I'm glad to hear it! Believe me, this Nep'll do her best to keep you happy. In fact…”

A flash of light later, and Purple Heart was carrying Noire princess-style.

“I might just sweep you off your feet.”

Noire burst out laughing.

“Seriously, Neptune? That was really corny, even for you!”

Neptune just smirked cockily.

“It got your mind off of things, though, didn’t it? And besides, you like my corniness.”

“You’re right,” Noire chuckled, leaning onto Neptune’s chest. “I do."

**Author's Note:**

> The guy’s from Lowee because I wanted to make a dig at the Mario franchise's treatment of Birdetta/"Birdo" and Vivian. I love the Mario series, but... man, they REALLY dropped the ball there.  
> I'm also working on a sequel to this, but, uh, the sequel is a bit less safe-for-work than this story. And in case anyone's concerned about that, no, it won't involve Neptune in her human form.


End file.
